The Death Eater's Child
by Elvensorceress
Summary: A very angsty song fic on my part. Draco is tortured by his father's wishes of him becoming a death eater. Draco, however, runs. R/R!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Own nothing… zilch…. JK Rowling is to blame for ideas

A/N: If you do not recognize the song, then I guess I should tell it to you first… it is Runaway by Linkin Park. This song reminded me much of my babe Draco so I had to write it into words. 

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Graffiti decorations

Under a sky of dust

A constant wave of tension

On top of broken trust

The lessons that you taught me

I learned were never true…

**_The Death Eater's Child_**

There it rises… one hundred feet in the air… a familiar and terrifying symbol glowing bright green with hate ignites the dark sky with fury. People scream… children cry… fathers gather their families to flee… mothers are hysterical… 

All because of the bright green symbol of Death which now possesses their minds - written on the black canvas God gave to all men. The Dark Mark stares them all in the face.

Voldemort has returned. He is showing everyone his evil face and revealing his presence to the once skeptical. It's not the first time the Dark Mark had been cast. Once at the World Cup it had been reintroduced to the world by His most faithful follower; but that was just a prelude of what is to come. The Mark has returned to the sky, becoming every living soul's nightmare. 

Voldemort returns. 

In the midst of all the panic and the screaming, I stand directly under the smirking illuminated skull. He had cast that; my father did. My father has become the tool of which all men despise. The Dark Mark lays laughing at the sight of the old fear which it has not tasted in over a decade, because of him. He told me it was the best choice. _Power breathes at the side of Lord Voldemort. _The Dark Lord on your side is like having no enemies, for no one could match up to your power. You rule all!

I cannot return back to school. I am now training to be one of Voldemort's followers - a Death Eater. I can no longer return home, for the ministry will be looking for us Malfoys there. The ministry has all ready seized my mother, however word has it she refuses to talk. I now have a home at which the Dark Lord dwells. 

I hate my father! I do not wish for this anymore! I have grown up. I can find other ways now at becoming powerful. Killing the mudbloods is not the answer. There are other methods to overpower the Wizarding world with Pure Bloods. Voldemort will just have us killed.

My bastard of a father had lied to me. Power does not breathe at Lord Voldemort's side - it suffocates. The Dark Lord absorbs every living energy vibe he can seize, and then kills the one he stole it from. I saw him do it. Crabbe's father died because of this. I do not want my father to be next. Come on, father! Please, just turn back. Do not force me to be dragged with you! Let me live a normal life. I deserve to sleep without the nightmares. I deserve to live without looking over my shoulder in paranoia all my life! 

The name Malfoy has been said with a great deal of respect for centuries. Now it is said with utter distaste. I am an outcast. I am a Death Eater's child. My father has expectations of me becoming a murderer. That's Voldemort's job. I'm only sixteen. I'm too young to have blood on my hands. I want it to be over. 

The skull in the sky is laughing at me. I stop staring, and glance around the Wizarding Village at the panicking families, trying to herd their children to safety. One little girl is alone crying on her porch, calling for her mother. A dog barks in the distance. A woman is crying over a bundle in her arms. 

I hate you, father, for lying to me. This isn't power. This is hell.

__

Now I find myself in question

[They point the finger at me again]

Guilty by association

[You point the finger at me again]

I look around for my father. He is no where to be seen. All I can see is the chaos that is being reflected from the green glow. I need to find away out of here before my father returns. Where can I go? I'm safe nowhere. My father is an adherent to the evilest man alive - if you can call him a man. Where ever I go, I will be recognized and I will be seized; either by Voldemort or the Ministry. 

My father had wishes of me becoming just as successful as he was. He ruined that dream when he had that mark burned into his brain and arm. I'm to have that burned into me soon, if I can't find a way out. I won't let it take over my mind. I won't sacrifice my own soul to the devil. I just won't!

I hate you, father, for making me guilty of a person like you as my father. You aren't a father… you are the devil's advocate, and I just happen to carry your last name.

__

Paper bags and angry voices

Under a sky of dust

Another wave of tension

Has more then filled me up

All my talk of taking action

These words were never true

I start to run. I don't know where I'm headed. I just need to get out of here. Away from this God forsaken place.

I head for the woods. I might be able to lose my father there.

How could I have ever wanted this? They are ready to kill a whole village as the Dark Lord's welcome-the-hell-home present. 

"Crucio!" The words rang out of no where. I hit the ground hard and cover my head with my arms. 

A painful scream pierced the night air. More screams followed. I hurry and crawl to the nearest tree and peek at what is going on.

The rest of the Death Eaters have arrived, dressed in black hoods and wands out. A woman lay screaming and twitching on the ground… her little girl on the porch cries harder. "Mommy! No, Mommy!"

I hear the Death Eaters laugh as they turn towards the little girl. My stomach churns.

"Get the hell out of there," I growl between clenched teeth. "Run!"

Of course the child does not hear me, but she stares at two men dressed in the black hoods walk towards her, wands twirling in their fingers. 

I can't watch this…

I get to my feet and run as fast as I can… the new screams of the little girl ripping through the forest behind me makes me run faster. I am being chased by it.

_See what daddy's done, now? _The scream echoed in my mind. _He'll be after you_. _Run, run as fast as you can… for he will catch you, you coward._

I _am _a coward. I am running when I could be back there saving the life of that little girl. But I don't want to be killed. If I start talk of rebellion, they wouldn't kill me quick and neatly with the Avada Kadavra… no that would be too kind. They would torture me first and have my limbs melted off one by one… like they were doing to the muggle-borns back there. 

I run harder and I don't stop. 

Everything that I had said before; the talk of taking action and ridding the world of the filthy mudbloods, the rants of rebellion against Dumbledore to get him thrown out of position of Headmaster, the dreams of becoming Voldemort's most keen servant… these are all lies. I don't want to kill anybody anymore. I need help, but who would help the child of a Death Eater? 

I hate you, father, for everything you are, and everything you have made me out to be. 

__

I wanna runaway

Never say good-bye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind

My father had poisoned my mind. He is with me at every turn. His voice rings in my ears. _You are a coward! You're a disgrace! You won't amount to anything, and when I find you I'll personally kill you!_

I am running away, but why are my father's lies still haunting me? I can't be a coward… I'm a Malfoy! We Malfoys stand and fight… but not I, said the son. For I could never fight for what YOU believe in. I am leaving. No regrets or good-byes. I have no idea where I am going. I head deeper into the woods and wish I knew how to disapparate. What made you become so evil, father? Were you always like this, even when you were my age? Did you always know you would turn out to be the right-hand man to the Dark Lord? Don't you know that I don't want to be like you? I HATE YOU! Why don't you know this? I scream it in my mind every second of each minute of each day to you… can't you hear me? I SAID I HATE YOU! Leave me alone! I'm leaving now. I'm finding something better. Anything would be better then this. 

People don't understand my pain. I'm Mr. Rich-boy with a powerful family who could get away with murder… well, not any more. I'm leaving with no money in my robes and leaving behind a family who murders and is wanted.

That's means I must be wanted too.

Somehow another scream penetrates my skull again. Women and children are crying. I dare a look behind me and can scarcely see the outline of fire and smoke. I know it wasn't houses they were burning…

I run faster, to the point where my lungs are about to explode. I can't breathe, but I keep running. 

After a half hour at bone breaking speed, I collapse in a heap in a small, open field. I try to catch my breath but it is hard with all the ghost screams still echoing in my skull. They are bouncing from wall to wall, bone to bone, allowing me to hear nothing but the torture my father has caused. 

I shut my eyes and pretend to disappear. 

I want to be at Hogwarts again, I say hard into the screams. My breath does not catch up with me causing my head to whirl, threatening to send my in the pits of unconsciousness. Dumbledore would understand. Snape was once a Death Eater, my father had told me. If Dumbledore could forgive a man accused of once following willing the Dark Lord, then certainly he would forgive me who was dragged by force. 

Hogwarts. 

Dumbledore. 

_Harry Potter… _

Suddenly I feel myself whirl. Nausea and darkness engulfs me. I almost retch. 

I'm dying. This must be dying. I was finally killed by the threat that had been with me since I was borne to the Malfoy family. Evil has won over me. Nobody will ever know that it wasn't my fault…

My body is slammed hard into the ground again, knocking what little air I had out of my lungs. I struggle to breathe, and as I do, I slowly lift my head. I stop trying to breathe…

I am outside Hogwarts Gates.

__

Gonna Runaway… 

A/N: How was that? Do you want more? I can scrounge up something… but it's your choice. Should I continue? 


	2. Inside My Head

Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. 

A/N: I'm glad you all want this. I have a decent story line up my sleeve so now I can write and not worry about nobody reading it. Oh, yeah. This new song is Motivation Proclamation by Good Charlotte. Enjoy!

Now for some thank yous!

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Vix: Thanks for being my first reviewer! I tried to bring out some good in him, but you will soon see in this chapter he still can't get rid of certain feelings…. You'll see!

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Necrosia: Cheese o' peas! I'm not _that _brilliant! Stop confusing yourself! It was the song that brought it out of me. But, thankye all the same.

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Zeynel: Yes, I will write more to it. In fact… here it is! *coughs* Yes, well… I try.

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Endovu: Yes, sir… er… ma'am? Yes, well, here it is!!! 

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Katriana- Thanks for the review!!! I love that song too! (dude, I just rhymed)

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The Almighty Benji - You're awesome! Thanks for the song idea! I'm using it now!

A/A/N: For chapter three, I might need some song ideas…. So please feel free to suggest some!

Chapter Two: Inside my Head… 

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Spend your lazy, endless crazy days inside my head,  
You're so selfish, you're not the only on who thinks he's dead,  
I'm paid to smile, now I'm on trial for what you think I said,   
  
BRIDGE  
'Cause I never said that everything would be ok,  
And I never said that we would live to see another day,  
  
Somehow I made it to Hogwarts. How can that be? I don't know how to disapparate… I don't have time to worry about that. I'm away from my father. I'm away from the followers, and right now I'm away from Voldemort. 

_But you can never escape me… _

No! How can he be doing this? GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

I scramble to my feet and stagger inside Hogwarts gates. It's so surreal. I don't want to be here. I was scared before. I can't face Dumbledore! He'll throw me out. He'll send me to the Dementors! But I can't go back to the Death Eaters or Voldemort. Voldemort would order me dead, and my father's wand would be the tool…

I don't know how I did it, but I manage to stumble into the castle. No where is safe, but this castle. Maybe if I hide, and Dumbledore doesn't find me, then I will be safe from both worlds. Yes, that is what I will do. I'll hide from this cursed world forever in… Hogwarts? Great plan, you idiot. Dumbledore will find you no matter what you do!

__

And so will I…. 

Get out of my head!

Before I know what I'm doing, I clutch my head and slide down a cold, hard wall. My father, though still back in the Muggle-born village, is still haunting me. He won't leave me alone! **_Father, I hate you! _**

I have to get out of here. Find a different place to hide. Hogwarts is the enemy. I can't trust anyone. Got to leave.. Got to find a different place. A place everyone would think me dead… where I can be a different person… finally change my last name and be rid of my father and his stupid Mark forever… 

I get up, prepared to sprint out of the castle, when I am stopped by a voice.

"Malfoy," it growls behind me. "What are _you _doing here?"

Potter. The famous _Harry Potter_… Anger and spite rage through my stomach. What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be back with his muggles doing whatever mudblood raised children do over their holiday? He's always turning up when he's least wanted… always sticking his big nose where it doesn't belong. If I am an ounce like my wretched father I would take out my wand and give Potter another scar ripped across his face… but I try to contain myself and turn slowly around.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I asked first," he says, crossing his arms. "What are you doing at Hogwarts?"

"Visiting," I say shortly. Like I would answer to a Potter. I may not be evil, but I do have some pride left in my veins, and I'm damn proud of it! 

"You're father around?" He asks, eyeing me coldly.

I return the stare. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I sneer. "Where's Dumbledore?"

Potter's mouth slowly quirks up. "Wouldn't you like to know?" The Potty boy thinks he's funny. My hand twitches towards my wand. If only I could just aim a simple spell, one that would only hurt him a bit…. No! I can't. Now that Potter has found me, I have to go to Dumbledore, and cursing Potter's head off won't help me on my defense. 

"I need to see Dumbledore," I say, slowly. 

"What for?" Potter asks. "You want to take an aim at him, while you're here? Your beloved father couldn't do it himself, so he sent _little _Malfoy to do his dirty work? Listen, _Draco_, nobody wants you or your stupid Pure-blood name around here. Do you have any idea of what is going on right now? And you have the _nerve _to show your face here after all that your father has done?!"

"Shut up, Potter! You don't think I know? Oh, never mind, I don't need to tell you anything. You're just some stupid, lame excuse for a hero who got rid of _Voldemort_! Ooh, I'm _very _impressed. Pity it didn't work, huh? He's back, and all you did was make him angrier. Now, get out of the way!" 

I storm pass Potter and up the stairs leading to the stone gargoyle outside of Dumbledore's office. I hope he's here. A village is inflamed of human flesh, so wouldn't the only man Voldemort has feared be informed?

I begin to lose hope. Dumbledore is not here… he's there where I had fled like a coward! Dumbledore will save them, then he'll find out my father was the ring leader, and I won't have any chance. 

I stop at the gargoyle, who seems to be laughing in my face. He knows where Dumbledore is, and he'll never tell me. I pull out my wand and point it at it's head.

"Open up!" I yell. "Or I'll blast you to smithereens!" 

It doesn't move.

"Open now!" I try again…

It still only laughs. 

"Fine then," I growl, shoving my wand back into my stained robes. "Phoenix feather." Maybe if I guessed the correct password, then I could save the destruction of one of Dumbledore's pitiful safety measures.

The gargoyle doesn't move.

"What does that man like? Er… Gryffindor - Ravenclaw - Hufflepuff - Well, it wouldn't be Slytherin, would it? Come on! Open up!"

It doesn't budge. 

"Quidditch - Quidditch world cup - Firebolt - er…. Transfiguration - transfiguration teacher - _Professor McGonagall_!" 

It still doesn't move. "Merlin's beard! White magic - good magic -"

"You'll get no where with those passwords, Draco," a voice chuckled behind me, causing me to spin around. Dumbledore stands only a yard away from me, smiling slightly. He had been watching the whole time. "None on them has an degree of flavoring!"

I stand immobilized. Every word, every speech that I had made up in my head, disappeared. I am standing in front of the only man who can choose my destiny… and somehow I forget every reasoning as to why I am even here. I want to run. Get away from Dumbledore the enemy. He'll call the Dementors soon… if I don't hurry. I have to get away…

"What's wrong, Draco?" Dumbledore asks. I squirm even more. 

"I can't - " I choke. Come on, pull yourself together! This is it… this is judgment day. "I couldn't stay - my father… I hate him. I need help. I couldn't stay - they're at that village. Didn't want to be there. Help me. I couldn't stay."

I'm not making any sense. What's wrong with me? 

Somehow, Dumbledore seems to understand. "It's okay, Draco. It's being taken care of right now. You need rest. Go to your common room for the night. No one will disturb you there. I will be back in the morning and we can talk then."

I numbly nod. "Yes, sir."

Then he is gone.

He had believed me… just like that. What kind of man is he, to just believe the son of a death eater? He's made me suspicious. He's a little too forgiving, and that scares me. 

I made it to Slytherin common room and I collapse on my dormitory bed. I am home here. I can sleep with no fear of danger… or my father having midnight dueling urges. I'm so tired, but all I keep thinking is about that little girl screaming for her mother. She was so small. I don't even know if she's alive. When I become less of a coward, I will find that little girl. I will find her and put her into a good home if her parents are dead. And if she is dead, I will see to a proper funeral. Her screaming once again echoes in my skull. It reminds me… even if she is alive, I can't promise her or anyone that any of us will live to see another day… 

For Voldemort is back. 

X.X

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Motivate me,  
I wanna get myself out of this bed,  
Captivate me,  
I want good thoughts inside of my head,  
When I fall down would you come around and pick me right up off the ground,  
I'm un-artistic, unrealistic, you say I'm selfish and absurd,  
You try to change me, you try to save, you say I'm gonna learn,  
I'm so blind,  
I'm out of time you're so unkind sometimes,  
I never lied,  
I never lied …  


Dumbledore promised to help me. He sent me an owl soon after he left saying that he would. I don't see how he can. My mind is all ready so warped in odd directions, that I can't imagine there is any room for pleasant thoughts in it. 

Maybe he is lying. What if he only told me he would help me is to make me stay so I can be easily captured? There is nothing I can do. I have to believe him, I have no other choice. Dumbledore wouldn't be that evil. He's forgiving. He can see through people, so he'll know that I had never really wanted any of this!

But, what if he remembers that time in my third year where Crabbe, Goyle, and I dressed like Dementors for the Quidditch match? I was only a kid, then! I didn't know what I was doing! He wouldn't hold that against me, would he? I made a mental note to apologize for that first thing in the morning. I have to have a clean slate. 

What if he thinks I'm lying? 

Stop this right now! I can't have these thoughts in my head. Tomorrow when I talk to Dumbledore I will apologize for everything that I had done, and for all that my father has made me. I will try to change, and Dumbledore will believe me… he said he would help me and I believe him… 

_He won't help you…. He'll send you back to me and then I'll kill you,_ **_Son_**…

I roll over and shove the pillow over my head. 

You're wrong, father… you may be an evil adherent to the darkest man alive, but I have Dumbledore on my side! And then when I'm strong enough, I'll hunt you down! I'll kill you, just like you killed that little girl! I'll burn your limbs off one by one and scatter your ashes over Voldemort's burning body! You will be out done, _father_…

My father's voice chuckles venomously in my head. _We anxiously wait for your return…_

A/N This was a little harder to write…. Ideas are greatly welcomed!!! I do have a bit of a surprised in store for you, but ideas to get there are greatly appreciated… plus song ideas!!! Those are always a plus!!!! 


	3. Good and Evil

Disclaimer: I disclaim everything!

A/N: Song is yet another Linkin Park Song! I find that I can use mostly any of their songs and turn them into Harry Potter stories! Has anybody noticed their song Forgotten is just like CoS? It's scary! Papercut is the name of this song. IT BELONGS TO LINKIN PARK… NOT ME! This song also reminds me of Quirrell… how 'bout you? 

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Death - Thanks for the advice! I'll keep that in mind! 

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Angelika - Thank you for the ideas! I have a special twist up me sleeve, but I will put Narcissa in the story now. You gave me a good idea, thanx!

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Alex Destine - Oh, don't worry. They'll talk. Maybe one fight, but then they get on okay after… can't say anymore!!! 

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The Almighty Benji - Thanks for the song ideas! I might use them later on when the time is right! Thanks! And Benji does rock!!!

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Necrosia of the Moon and Night - phew… what a mouthful! Well, anyways, thank you. I will keep going. Ideas major!!! 

Um…. It's been a long time since I wrote anything for this… I'm sorry if I missed anybody's review… thank you so much for it though! They inspired me to write more! 

Chapter Three: Good and Evil

Why does it feel like night today?

Something in here's not right today

Why am I so uptight today?

Paranoia's all I got left. 

I don't know what stressed me out first

Or how the pressure was fed/ but

I know just what it feels like 

To have a voice in the back of my head… 

The sun does not shine in my eyes when I wake. How could it? I'm in a dungeon. In Malfoy Manor mother insisted on me sleeping in a room where fresh sunshine woke me. I like it better in the dungeon. I'm alone, being that it is only June - and it is dark. I don't really know it's morning, but I can't sleep any longer. I've been awake for some time, just staring in the pits of the darkness, watching the spots in front of my eyes take shape into ungodly creatures and tear each others' heads off. 

I throw myself off the bed and stagger into the common room. Everything is so dark. I can't even see two feet in front of me. I guess I should turn on some lights, but I don't feel like groping back to my room and look for my wand.

_Morning, Son… _

I jump backwards right into the hard, marble wall. Why can't he leave me alone? I'm not one of him anymore! How did he get into my head? I refuse to answer him. He has no control over me… he has been reduced to a mere parasite feeding off of any fear he can produce, but if I refuse to answer his calls, then he'll die… just like a parasite - just like Voldemort.

The voice inside my head laughs. My father mocks me. I know he'll never leave me. It won't be that simple. The fight for evil is real. The war has begun. I turned to the light. And that will never go unpunished. 

_We're coming… _

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It's like a face that I hold inside

A face that awakes when I close my eyes

A face watches every time I lie

A face that laughs every time I fall

[And watches everything]

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim

That the face inside is hearing me / Right underneath my skin

I leave the common room. What's the point of standing idly in the dept of darkness when life was being destroyed in the light? Dumbledore said he would see me in the morning, but the Dark Lord dwelt in Slytherin… I doubt we could get anywhere five feet from his old dormitory. 

My footsteps echo loudly on the hard floor, sounding like angry swarms of Death Eaters coming down on me. I have to get myself together. When did I become so paranoid? I keep trying to tell myself I am away from all of that I once was. I am safe in Dumbledore's presence. 

But somewhere deep inside me, I know I am wrong. He's still with me… always laughing and taunting. I know he will find me, and when he does Dumbledore won't be able to protect me. 

My heart beats faster. I feel like running again. I feel my father's face staring from behind, and I must run from him! He'll kill me before I'll ever have a chance to set right my life he destroyed! 

I hear my father's laugh again, and I take off through the dungeon halls. 

I am not watching where I am running. I don't care, as long as it's far away from this place. Maybe I should leave? How could Dumbledore help me now? He probably just let me stay the night so he could have ample time on getting the Ministry here to lock me away to rot. 

_That's where you'll go, my ungrateful son… They'll let you rot in Azkaban next to other ungrateful followers of our Dark Lord. Nobody will help you. Nobody's your friend. Only, you better hope the Ministry does get to you first…_

We're coming… 

"No!" I scream. "Evil never concurs over good! This time you are on the wrong side, Father!"

__

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back

It's like a whirlwind inside of my head

It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within

It's like that face inside is right beneath my skin

I slam into something hard and I staggered backwards, falling to the ground. I look up, and meet the dark, glaring stare of Professor Snape, the potion master. I swallow. What's he doing here? He was one of them! I saw him with my own eyes prancing around with my father right to the right side hand of Voldemort. 

Oh, that's right. Snape's a spy. My father was talking about that a while ago. Snape's spying for Voldemort. I made a metal note to report this to Dumbledore. Maybe if I list off some of Voldemort's most faithful and dangerous followers, people will heed me seriously. 

Snape glares down on me with dark, angry eyes. I should feel scared, in fact I do feel the nervousness of his stare start to creep into my veins, but I'm not frightened. I have something on him. I control his destiny. I am his downfall… and he can't do anything about it.

Unless my father can communicate to him also?

I frantically look behind my shoulder to see if anybody is coming. I thought I heard footsteps. How close is my father, really? He could appear anywhere… out of any fireplace. He would team up with Snape and kill me… slowly. 

I slowly turn my head back to Snape and harden my eyes. He won't wield fear out of this Malfoy. I won't give him the satisfaction. I stand and place a careful sneer on my face. 

"Good morning, Professor Snape," I growl. "Have a nice Holiday?"

Snape's eyes darken even more. I could see his hand slightly twitching near his robe opening, probably itching for his wand. I leave nothing on my face, except the famous sneer. 

"What are you doing out of your common room, Malfoy?" Snape asks me, careful himself not to show any emotion. 

I shrug. "Felt like getting some fresh air. The air is stale in these dungeons. It's enough to strangle you."

Snape arches an eyebrow. "You shouldn't be wondering around. The Headmaster will be seeing you soon."

"Yes," I smirk. "I have something I wish to share with him as well."

At that moment, before Snape even gets the chance to reply, Dumbledore arrives. My head, my savior.

Though his eyes seem darker then usual. His eyes have he usual gleam, but somehow it looks dimmer. I suddenly realize how old this great wizard is… and weak looking. The sneer erases from my face, but I keep my eyes hard. I will not allow them to see my fear.

"Ah, Draco," the Headmaster smiles at me. "I'm glad you are awake. Did you have a restful sleep?" I nod. "Good, good. Now if you'll please excuse us, Severus, Draco and I need to talk."

Snape nodded soundlessly, and retreated back into his dungeon without the smallest look to me. His door shut loudly, echoing ominously through the halls.

"Let's take a walk, Draco," Dumbledore says gently. We walk wordlessly until we are out of the dark dungeons. I squint against the light from the sun that has all ready been poured through the windows on the first floor. I could feel the tension in my stomach relax, and I find that I can breathe easier. 

"Now, Draco," Dumbledore starts quietly, "about last night -"

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I know I've got a face in me

Points out all my mistakes to me

You've got a face on the inside too and

Your paranoia's probably worse

I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand

Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is 

I can't add up to what you can

__

"Snape's a spy," I blurt out, breathlessly. I mentally kick myself. Great one, really. Make it obvious of how desperate you are.

I'm shocked to hear Dumbledore chuckling. He turns his eyes to mine, and I must have let my surprise show, for he says, "It's all right, Draco. I know."

This time I let me jaw drop. What? He knows? He allows this? "What - what do you mean, Professor? You know he's s spy? Why do you allow him here? He's gathering information for the Dark Lord! He's betrayed us all!" I snap my mouth shut. I realize how stupid I must sound. 'He's betrayed us all'? Sounds like somebody I know well.

Dumbledore shakes his head. "No, Draco. Professor Snape will not betray us." He says this almost sadly, but I'm too shocked to actually notice. How could he possibly not know? I heard him giving my father secret plans just the other week! 

_You can't trust anybody anymore, isn't that right, son? _

"W-wait," I stutter, ignoring my father's taunts. "You don't understand. He all ready has given the Dark Lord information against you. He's all ready betrayed you! How could you say he won't?"

Dumbledore looks as if he's debating with himself. He's asking himself how much he can really trust me. I am wondering the same thing myself. 

Dumbledore takes a breath before answering. "Because Severus Snape is _our _spy." 

__

But everybody has a face that they hold inside

A face that awakes when they close their eyes

A face watches every time they lie

A face that laughs every time they fall

[And watches everything]

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim

That the face inside is watching you too - Right inside your skin

I'm speechless. He's Dumbledore's spy? All this time I though he was betraying the Headmaster, he was actually betraying us -I mean, _them _that whole time? I was wrong. What else am I wrong about? Am I ever right anymore? 

Then I realize, Snape's been risking his life every day for what he believes in. He's the real soldier I had always strived to be, but my father's mold had broken. Snape's a spy for the light side… I'm a fugitive of the dark side… Snape really has one on me. 

Everybody holds my destiny.

I'm not even in control of my own life anymore.

Damn you, father!

"He's your spy?" I choke out. "For how long?"

"Ever since he turned to us," Dumbledore answers. 

"But how do you know he's not lying to you? I mean, giving you false information… as I'm guessing he's giving Voldemort?"

Dumbledore only smiles. "I just know. Now, onto last night."

I mentally groan. I don't want to have to explain everything… about the little girl screaming and how I only ran… how my father was leading it all. I want help without having to relive me past. Nothing in my past can help me with today. It's all against me.

"I'm sorry, Professor," I say quietly. "My father…"

"Draco, I believe you had no desire for any of that, and I know and believe you had no doing in destroying that village."

That completely blows me away. I was expecting anything but that! Again I feel uneasy on how forgiving this man is… I should feel thrilled. But I'm beginning to feel he would forgive Voldemort if Voldemort went crying to him. 

"Why?" I blurt out.

Again, Dumbledore chuckles. 

"Right," I smirk. "You know everything. Professor, I need your help. My father is after me and I'm going insane."

Talk about bluntness.

"You are not insane, Draco," Dumbledore says, leading me to a window overlooking the Great Lake. "Your father is haunting you because you have done the one thing he could never do… convert to the light. His voice will silence once you have learned to banish it from your mind. It's all a matter of time now."

"How do you know he haunts me?"

_I watch everything… _

"Draco, I can't help you on banishing your father's haunts. You must do that yourself… but I can help you on how to start."

I blink, but listen.

"You first asked me for my help, but I answer that by asking for yours."

"How can I help you if I can't even help myself?" I ask. "Don't get me wrong. I want to help! But don't you think I should control my thoughts that could betray us all before I march beside you." Then it hits me. "Professor! My father will know Snape is a spy!"

Dumbledore lowers his eyes and sighs sadly. Great! I can't even do good right! I try to do something right, then I wind up screwing it up. I destroy lives everywhere I go. I should have ran when I had the chance.

"Snape has done his purpose," Dumbledore went on. "He has a different job now… as do you. If you will accept it."

I nod without thinking. I'm not going to Azkaban after all? Dying with a purpose appealed better to me then my rotting carcass in a cell. 

"When do we start?" I ask, eagerly. 

Dumbledore smiles. "Not for a while. You are correct, you still need to settle in. When we will need you, you will know."

I nod. "Thank you, Professor. I promise, I won't let you down."

__

The sun goes down

I feel the light betray me…..

To be continued… 


End file.
